Dinner Plus Drinks
Dinner Plus Drinks
Colonial Adventures - Dinner Plus Drinks #131
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Happy 4th of July everybody!
This week, we had some fun with this Choose Your Own Adventure Book, as well as all of the normal life matters.
If you want to check out the spit that Nick recommended, you can get it at Amazon right here.
Have a safe and fun holiday - talk again next week!
Bridget & Nick
Hello, everybody. Welcome to the super well-prepared episode of Deer Plus Drinks. It's awesome. We're still disorganized. I do have an incredible segment after the break. He's been talking about it for two days. We wanted something patriotic, America feeling, uplifting, all the fun things. It's not even blacked out. It's a complete surprise. And we wanted something interactive and fun. We got some very nice things about the guest the real estate. So thank you, everybody, who appreciated that. So fun. I have an even more fun one. Bridget is gonna love this. Love hated, I believe you said. I originally started off with thinking of how could I make you play some sort of D20 game? Oh my god, no. Uh and then it got better from there.
SPEAKER_01I've already done that. I would say this episode is all about summer. Road trips, 4th of July. And beers. Crisp beers. I'm so excited. Just kicked our microphone because I'm using our table as a foot rest like an adult.
SPEAKER_00We uh finally have it. Yes. Sipes Bavarian traditional Hefeweizen. Oh.
SPEAKER_01It's as delicious as all of their other beers. Oh, this is very well done. Columbia's always gonna be my favorite, but this is better for summer. Shit, this is good. Oh my god, I love their beer.
SPEAKER_00I'm actually gonna pour it in a cup.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, me too. Thank you.
SPEAKER_00The esters of Hefeweizen come out better in a cup. We don't have, you know, the last hefe we did, which was from Fair State, we did have the proper uh glassware.
SPEAKER_01But it's summer.
SPEAKER_00We're using plastic cups now. We're running behind. Uh it is 4th of July weekend at the store. We are recording a day early because we're just gonna be. So trying to keep up with that. It was my birthday weekend. I know. I was just gonna say, tell everyone how it was. It was awesome. Amazing and wonderful. Did the most millennial thing of all things. I insta-storied my birthday.
SPEAKER_01You did, yes, you did. And people loved it. Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_00I mean, it did go nuts. People really did enjoy it. Uh are you viral, Nick? I am viral. Do you have a viral STD, Nick? No monkeypox, no coronavirus. I did see a tweet. Just viral tacos. I must uh screenshot it and sent to you, but I'd already sent you like three ridiculous things in about an hour. It's like, I can't keep doing this. She's busy. I can't keep doing this. Thanks, buddy. But it was uh a Columbia researcher, PhD researcher at Columba University. I get the beer. Uh, if you are one of the uh gifted people out there that hasn't managed to get COVID yet and continually test, please reach out. I'd like to talk to you. Shut up. And I'm like, oh, it me.
SPEAKER_01It me. Okay. I remember when I got COVID, all I wanted was to like be a lab rat because at that point it was like pretty novel. I mean, like people were getting it in dying.
SPEAKER_00It's a novel coronavirus.
SPEAKER_01Like, yes. Oh, remember when it was? So um, yeah, I wanted to be like, study me to ask about my taste and smell. I was like, I'm a twin, also, so I always wanted to.
SPEAKER_00So you're a good control.
SPEAKER_01I guess. And like, well, Shannon has gotten it now, but she hadn't. My family didn't get it from me. None of my family like I didn't get it from you. Where Nick didn't get it. So like we sat longer than this for an hour. I slept in the same bed as Tyler, probably also as Elliot at the time. Like, um, once I found out, I didn't, but like, I just I've I don't know why I feel the need to be a lab. Like, study me from COVID, study me from a twin. I don't know, okay? I don't even need money. I just want to be part of it, okay?
SPEAKER_00I got to make Alpastore tacos. You did, yes. Which was incredible. I'm gonna just stash, I'm gonna talk about this now and not stash for best food.
SPEAKER_01Did you see my outline? I said, I'll fill it in for you. Alpestore tacos for your favorite food.
SPEAKER_00Uh, I have a different thing for my favorite food, also birthday related. Ooh. But uh, my family does not love grilled fruit, which they're wrong.
SPEAKER_01I grilled pineapple specifically or any grilled fruit.
SPEAKER_00Also, like peaches, not a big thing. Or love grilled peaches. Actually, pears do, they do like the grilled pears. Interesting. Uh I've never grilled a pear. Uh oh, they're so good. Um, Oak Fire does a really good grilled peared salad.
SPEAKER_01Oh, yes. Okay, I guess I've had that. So yeah.
SPEAKER_00Um, so uh I got to do the grilled pineapple on my Alpastore taco. I got a little spit thing. I did the marinade from scratch with all the chili peppers. I made the verde sauce. Like I did all of the things. I Insta-storied all of it. You did. The photographs are beautiful, the tacos were everything. I love they were they the older I get, the more I just like I really love balance in food, in wine, and beer, where there's a lot of different elements and they all work together. Uh no, I don't love balance in life. Everywhere else though. You know, I just in my food and wine, but not my life. You know, I'll do a high ball of cocaine, not just a gram. You know, KK! Uh no balance. Really feels like summer. Feels like we're losing our mind. But uh it was like it's got like spice and fruitiness, and like texturally, there's some crispy bits, but there's also the char from the grill and smoke. It's just like, oh, this is such a good bite. It's such a good bite. Uh, I also made ground beef tacos for the people that did not want the pork. Or Bridget. Um, but the cool thing about the spitty thing that I got um for the tacos is I'm gonna make Bridget Schwarma.
SPEAKER_01We are already planning it for my birthday in September, okay?
SPEAKER_00We haven't picked a day. I'm gonna make somebody named Nick is gonna make pita. Uh somebody named different Nick. Maybe other Nick doesn't know that he's making pita right now. Maybe today's not the day to tell him. But uh, somebody named Nick will be making pita. Somebody named Nick will be making swarma, and somebody named Bridget will be eating them. It's gonna be a festive occasion.
SPEAKER_01It's um feels palpable. We're just here with a PSA. I know you're not hearing this until the day before 4th of July, probably, but if you are out shopping uh at a doctor, at a beach, anywhere that people are working while you're relaxing, please don't be a dick. Thank you. We're just I was talking to a whole bunch of people about this. Like, people have just been brazen. It's been incredible. It feels that in the store today.
SPEAKER_00It like feels angsty. Um, there's so the way you say things matters, and like, hey, do you still have any of this? That's cool. Why are you out of this is not cool. Not cool. Uh somebody named Nick has said one of the problems in the world is that nobody's getting punched in the face anymore. And saying, why are you out of this to a retail worker that's working crazily stocking things is a great way that in a less litigious society, you would get punched in the face.
SPEAKER_01Could we just hire an enforcer? Remember when we used to have a bouncer and we're gonna be. Excuse me, could you just be a bouncer again and pretend like we're limiting the people in this? Yeah, it's just uh it's kind of bonkers, man. Uh I did ban someone yesterday. Yeah, follow law, everybody. Um I don't think the staff understands my follow-al reference yet, where I'm like, that just means sarcastically, don't we all love hate the holidays?
SPEAKER_00And you know what I did tell my staff is uh I said, hey team, if anybody refers to you as girl and says, girl, get me this, I will come in get me and I will kick them out of the store. You know what's worse? Hun. Hun, I don't like it. And there might be like a degree of like southerner, there's a degree of like you might think you're being nice. You're just an old man. Girl get me? Yeah, for sure. That's offensive. Just like derogatory.
SPEAKER_01Okay. Uh so like saying, bitch, go get me this. Oh man, I could never work retail, can you tell?
SPEAKER_00Uh yeah, it's like, uh, who referred to you as my marketing girl? Oh my god.
SPEAKER_01To this day we brawl about it, T R. I just I am happy that in my what I'll call not yet middle age, that I'm like can stand up for myself and say, hey, because I used to like are you happy in your middle age somebody still thinks you're a girl? Yeah, yeah. Not woman. Either way, I'm I can say, uh, excuse me, I have a name. I think Howie's prepared me for that. But I used to sit there and take that crap when I was in my young 20s. It's ridiculous. It's ridiculous.
SPEAKER_00Anyway, here we are. Yeah. So my week, you know, I I went and watched uh a lot of young child coach pitch baseball because I'm trying to be a good uncle. And gunkle? My God. Well, no, I'm I'm into the women, so I'm no gunkle. Oh, yeah, that's what that means. Uh you know, I I if Leonardo DiCaprio calls, we can talk. But uh I'll let him know. Uh, you know, Tyler and you don't work out, we can talk. Okay, okay. But uh otherwise, no, so much into the women. Uh so not a gunkle. But I'm trying to be, you know, good for for Levi, my godson, my my godfather came and watched all my games more or less. And uh so you know, I'm trying to do do that. And oh my god, I do think the fact that nobody watches baseball anymore is just so clearly apparent that these kids don't know how to play baseball.
SPEAKER_01Well, the thing is it's YMCA baseball run by volunteer coaches. Yes, the lack of teaching. Okay, okay, okay, you're gonna be this parent. This is funny because based on a based on a previous discussion we've had about sports, there are two uh youth sports options in Lake Geneva. Yes. YMCA or other. And other is like GTS for baseball or predators. Not at this age. Yes, it is an option at this age. Elliot could be in it.
SPEAKER_00So, but I like people that don't know what direction to run around the bases. But like I think just going and playing games doesn't work.
SPEAKER_01I think like Well, they are supposed to practice. Like Elliot ha does half practice, half game.
SPEAKER_00They don't.
SPEAKER_01Well, that's the coach's fault.
SPEAKER_00Yes, that's in the rules from the YMCA. Like, I think you should, you know, play catch a little bit first. Yeah, it uh it and I don't mean like the coach, I just mean like you learn how to play football by watching football. Well, it's also that you can't practice with them at home. I'm just saying, like, when I was a kid, you watched the World Series. Oh, you played Ken Griffey baseball. You know, so like you you had that cultural awareness. Baseball's not culturally relevant anymore like it was 20 years ago. That's what I'm saying. I'm not commenting on the coaching or anything.
SPEAKER_01Uh I that's interesting. I don't know if I agree with that. Because I didn't sit around and watch sports. I watched football when I was little, but I didn't play football. I suppose. I've played volleyball since I could walk, and I never watch volleyball on TV. Volleyball's I mean, I currently watch volleyball on TV because I love it.
SPEAKER_00The rules of volleyball are simpler in a lot of ways than You cannot hate on volleyball. Are you joking me? Well, I mean, just like you score when it hits the ground is easier than That's not the only rule.
SPEAKER_01Volleyball players, please write in hate mail to Nick right now.
SPEAKER_00It's it's like more easy to understand. You can hit it three times and like it has to hit the ground on the other team's thing than like Yep, that's it. You can get people out these five different ways. You can swing three times, and if but if you if it's a bad like there's more rules in baseball that are like I don't understand. I disagree with that completely.
SPEAKER_01Baseball rules are pretty straightforward. I would say soccer, maybe not. How many ways can you score a point in volleyball?
SPEAKER_00Well, I don't know how specific you want to get. Well, like it just touches the ground. How many ways can you get out in baseball? You can tag the gun. It just touches the ground with it.
SPEAKER_01Sure, but like you could get an ace on a serve or touching the ground. You're still just getting no, this is a dumb argument. We're done with this. We're done with this. Um great. I uh uh Elcorn had their flea market. And for those of you that don't know what Elkhorn is, it's the Christmas card capital of the world. It's this tiny town. Christmas card USA? Christmas town? Christmas card town, Christmas. Which is like, I want to be something really cool, but I don't understand it. Every year I'm like, what Christmas? Um anyway, Elkhorn has our county fairgrounds, and they utilize the fairgrounds, Larry and his people, to do some really great things and also some really absurd things. Uh, but the flea market.
SPEAKER_00Where does DOSFE fall on?
SPEAKER_01Great, DOS Fest, great. Rodeo. Interesting, fun. Not just any rodeo, by the way.
SPEAKER_00What is it? Mexican rodeo.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, it is bonkers.
SPEAKER_00No, it's like I've been doing like it's straight up. They say like, come to the Mexican rodeo. Yeah, because it's a different type of rodeo.
SPEAKER_01It it was. I went. Like the rules are different. I obviously didn't realize it was a Mexican rodeo. I don't know the rules, but I just went because Elliot would like it. It's because you don't watch it. I don't know. I don't watch the Mexican rodeo every weekend.
SPEAKER_00Um It's on FUBO. I know you have Fubox. You're right. I've had all the sports. It's on like Stadium 3. Stadium 27.
SPEAKER_01Um, okay, so anyway, they have that was well done. Um they have a flea market. That's a dodgeball joke. For ESPN8. Haven't been in a while. Um, for flea markets. It makes me feel like I'm on flea market flip and Amy. Yes, good job, Nick and Amy. Um, the people who run it. Um, but anyway, it I love the flea market. I love going, but it's like seems to be a day that Tyler has his games a lot. Tyler skipped his gaming this weekend and came, we all went as a family, which like, oh I know this sounds dumb, but we don't have a lot of time to like do things as a family of four. We like Tyler and Elliot do a boys' night thing, me and Lucy do a girl's night thing, but all four of us, and he is such a saint. Tyler is like, you know, I'll pull the kids in the wagon and you can go in the booths or whatever. I got to, each kid got five dollars, which isn't always like the flea market is more expensive than a garage sale. So Lucy got to pick out a necklace and she was so excited she wears it every day uh to daycare. Elliot got to pick out a car. Like it was, it was just so fun. Good old, wholesome fun. We had some kettle corn. Uh, we there was a produce stand, so we got like our veggies for the week also, and it was just a great day. It was like perfectly 72 degrees, all my dreams. That's all. It was like my birthday, man.
SPEAKER_00I have checked out of the news completely. Oh, yeah, for sure. I just scroll past it. I I know nothing that's going on. Yeah, uh, I don't have any news stories other than um site Bavarian is in stock at Lake Geneva Country Meets, and it's big news.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, we both were talking about how we just kind of like scroll past all the memes, all the everything now, because who can handle it?
SPEAKER_00And I know like that means the bad people win. Yeah, I know you know what? My sanity wins.
SPEAKER_01I will leave you with a meme I read about actually I can't leave it with you because I don't know the exact quote, but it was a it was a good meme about like, oh, can't wait to celebrate 4th of July. Like, can't wait to celebrate my independence with having by having no independence at all.
SPEAKER_00Uh had Loyal, a podcast listener from Iowa stop in the store this week and was it Saturday, Sunday? Why are they visiting from Iowa? Uh the family, and they were getting some stuff in the store. And uh he had a dad joke for me and I forgot it. I wrote it down and I forgot it, so I'm sorry, I forgot. Thanks for the memo, man. But um, let me find you some 4th of July dad jokes. I don't usually I come up with one myself. We can just take a quick pause. Here, we here we go. 32 amusing 4th of July jokes to share on Independence Day from Reader's Digest. If you crossed a Patriot with a curly haired dog, what would you get? I don't know. Yankee poodle. Yankee poodle. Uh whoops. How come there are any knock-knock jokes about America? Why, Nan? Because freedom rings. What kind of tea did the American colonists want? What kind? Liberty. Liberty! These are all really easy. I should know them. What's the difference between a duck and George Washington? What? One has a bill on his face, and the other has his face on the face. Oh, this was quick, uh, this was quick joke find. What does the Statue of Liberty stand for? I don't know. I can't sit down. What do you give me when you call us a dinosaur with fireworks? What? Dynomite. Okay, wrap it up, buddy. Why did the duck say bang? Why? Because he's a fire quacker! Fire quacker! Taking a quick break, guys!
SPEAKER_01We're back with product racks. You seem surprised. I don't know why I felt like I needed to uh do that. Um yeah, I am surprised, although I know what you're gonna say now. Now that I said, okay, I'm gonna start because you're gonna be more excited about yours. Uh I hate doing road trips with my children. I thought I would love them, but then my kids started barfing in the car, and now I'm terrified uh to let them look at a screen. But also five hours in a car, like I gotta be realistic. So I did a lot of research, like what makes kids car sick? How can we help? What can we do? And yes, I know everybody. I should have them look out the window. And I will do all of that. We're driving at bedtime, but like I I'm trying to be realistic and let them watch a movie if they want. So I got this really great um, like it's an iPad mount. So we don't have a fancy car that has like a drop-down iPad. I mean, actually, I love my car very much, but I don't need like a DVD player to drop down from the ceiling. But I don't want my kids staring down at their tablets. I want them looking up. So we got a mount that goes like on each headrest. So I bought two. We may only use one that the iPad clips into and then it's up on the back of the seat or in between both front seats. So the kids have to look up at it. And I'm hoping that helps with all the puking. I will report back and tell you if you should go purchase this one andor a different one. Also, if you have any road trip tips and tricks, it'll be too late by the time this comes out. So never mind.
SPEAKER_00Never mind. You could just give the kids dramamine and let them pass out and then not worry about it. I literally have never even considered giving them dramamine. There you go. Honestly, maybe I should get some. Uh, my, my, my, my thing is very exciting. I'm very excited. Continuing my um, whatchamacallit, millennial self-absorbedness. I'm gonna recommend what was so good with my birthday, which is the meat spit. The meat spit. Uh, it's like $24, and it's quite simply a very pointy piece of metal on a flat piece of metal, and it shouldn't be $24 because it's literally like some metal. There's two different size lengths of metal. Uh, I was on pins and needles all day waiting for it to arrive. He was the day before, let's say. Uh, you could attest to this. He was. This is my package, it's not here. And it's here. It's glorious. It showed up on the morning of your birth. You can make Alpastore tacos, you can make swarma, you can make euro meat, you can do all sorts of things. Everything you ever wanted. Not more, just everything you've ever wanted. I'm gonna put an Amazon link up. Y'all should grab it. Uh, very, very, very useful if you're into doing ridiculous things like I am. Uh, also, I got these new uh the pig, so for the sauce for this, I wanted to get, you know, the actual guayajio and on show peppers. Uh they didn't have them, but they had these uh pastes, these concentrated pastes they use for the sauce instead. Just as good, yeah, just as good and like easier to squeeze out. And you didn't have to like seed them and stem them and stuff. So also, also I remember.
SPEAKER_01Also, the paste. Do you use ginger paste or real ginger? Uh I use real ginger. Not for this, just for ice.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I use real ginger, yeah.
SPEAKER_01I usually do too, but I also bought the paste just for days that I don't like have real ginger stickers.
SPEAKER_00You know what I don't like?
unknownNo.
SPEAKER_00Garlic paste. Uh, I don't ever use that. Yeah, I find that doesn't work.
SPEAKER_01I do use the canned like garlic. I use that too, yeah. I agree.
SPEAKER_00Because that's like who wants to mince garlic.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, and that can never get it small enough. I agree.
SPEAKER_00I'm being honest. I'm with you. Okay, I thought this was. Also, garlic pressed don't work.
SPEAKER_01I bought one to think what am I doing wrong? Okay. And they don't work. We do not recommend a garlic press. We do recommend minced garlic in a jar. Woo woo! Have a great time. Hope you're okay. Were you not gonna sing? I saw you not gonna sing.
SPEAKER_00Oh no, I wasn't not gonna sing. I'm just very excited about this in the world.
SPEAKER_01I'm so excited. I'm so nervous.
SPEAKER_00So we decided we want to do something fun, something interactive, and something different than what we've done before.
SPEAKER_01I said it should be something we do together, not one of us against the other. And it should be for the July theme. But here we are. What? Colonial America? What? Oh, is this a choose your own adventure story? It's a choose your own adventure story. Is this like a mad lib for adults? Yes.
SPEAKER_00That's what I thought. Because I was thinking adventures. So I was like, could do I come up with a dice game to make Bridget navigate the Constitution? Oh my gosh. It would have been funny. It would have been really funny. It's so painfully boring. No, it would have been funny because it would have been like, do we include guns in the Constitution or not? If you roll a four, yes. If you roll a two, Benjamin Franklin tries to sexually.
SPEAKER_01As long as you're not sure.
SPEAKER_00We all know Ben Franklin was a good idea. So I found this book. There's five of this series of different time frames, and this is Colonial America, an interactive history adventure by Alison Lissure, which, if a French dude chick, is writing this like, man.
SPEAKER_01Wait, is this a for real thing that exists?
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Consultant Len Tavares, Associate Professor of History, University of Massachusetts at Dartmouth. Oh, yeah. All right, so there's um there's three different things in here. Um we're gonna do uh you are living in colonial America. Chapter one says the scene. I'm not gonna read all of this, but you know, Americans have been here in America much longer than Americans. Uh, by which I mean the Native Americans, but the settlers arrived in 1607 in Virginia. Uh there's three different adventures in this book. There's one uh arriving as an indentured servant in Virginia, one colonial life in Massachusetts in 1759, but we're gonna do colonial Philadelphia right before the Revolutionary War.
SPEAKER_01Riveting.
SPEAKER_00Chapter 4 Revolution in the Air. The sun streams through the open door of your father's Philadelphia Tavern. It's 1774, and everyone seems to be complaining about something. Whoa! The Boston Tea Party sparked much of this anger. A group of colonists dump crates of tea into the Boston Harbor. The colonists were protesting the British tea tax. And then there was harsh laws parts pushed to pass to punish them. As you work, the noon crowd arrives. Your older brother, Alexander, works alongside father, pouring mugs of ale. You're only thirteen, but you can serve food and drinks to the customers. The talk turns to the laws that many people call the intolerable acts. I can't believe the British close Boston Harbor, one man says, and they're trying to make Boston pay for the ruined tea. How dare they? There's the Quartering Act, a stout man fumes, the law says that British soldiers can stay in any home they want for free, and don't forget the Justice Act, another man pipes up. It lets British soldiers who've committed crimes here be sent to England for trial. Of course they'll be set free. You look at your father, his lips are pressed tightly together. He is loyal to King George, but he won't say anything to his customers that would hurt his business. Father calls to you, he hands you a bundle wrapped in paper. Take this lunch to your uncle Richard. He's building a house on Chestnut Street, he says. As you turn the leaf, a man sitting near the door motions to you. I'm Edward Biddle, the man says. He holds hands you a folded piece of paper and a shilling coin. Can you take this message to the city tavern? It's for a friend of mine, Paul Revere. You gasp. You know Paul Revere? You stammer, impressed that he knows one of the most famous men in the colonies. Biddle chuckles. Yes, my boy, he's a fine man. Will you do my errand? Of course, you reply. Do you go to Chestnut Street first, or do you deliver Biddle's message first?
SPEAKER_01Oh I don't know who to trust yet.
SPEAKER_00You gotta make a decision.
SPEAKER_01Oh I'm gonna I'm gonna deliver the message first. Alright. Press here.
SPEAKER_00The city tavern is the most important tavern in town, even though it was built last year. The bartender tells you where you can find Paul. He's relaxing in the coffee room.
SPEAKER_01Oh, Polly. He's a coffee guy. See, I made the right choice.
SPEAKER_00You bow and give Revere the message. He thanks you and hands you a coin. Excuse me, Mr. Revere, you ask shyly. He smiles. Yes. You were the talk of my father's inn, you say in a rush. You rode into Philadelphia to bring the news that the British had closed Boston Harbor. I'm glad the talk was good then, he says, laughing. Then he became serious. Tell your father's customers that we will need many colonists on our side to resist the British and their unfair laws. You go and do the rest of your ends and go back to the tavern. Father is sitting with a man you recognize when you get back. Hello, Mr. Bradford. It's William Bradford, a well-known printer and a fierce American patriot. Your father says you're interested in learning the printing trade, Bradford says. I'm willing for you to serve as an apprentice in my shop. At the end of seven years you'll be a journeyman. Whoa. I don't agree with your politics, Father tells Bradford. Although I don't always like what the British are doing, I am a loyal Englishman. You're a right, sir, we don't agree, Bradford says. But this is about your son's future. Your older son will inherit the tavern, but what will become of this boy? I can give him an honest profession. Do you wish to choose to apprentice to Mr. Bradford or stay with Father? Oh.
SPEAKER_01I'm gonna better myself an apprentice.
SPEAKER_00Printing was a big deal back then. Basically, it was marketing. I mean, this is right on brand for you.
SPEAKER_01Coffee, marketing. Man, you are just choosing. Look at all the right choices I'm making.
SPEAKER_00Your father signs a contract that you agree to apprentice for seven years to serve your master faithfully, keep his secrets, obey his commands, and do no damage. You won't earn wages, but you'll get food, clothing, and a place to stay. Excellent. Plus, you're gonna learn. You go to the print shop and it's in the same building as his other business, the London Coffee House. Look at this! Two other apprentices are at work printing copies of the Pennsylvania journey. You settle into your duties, clean the shop, make sure there's plenty of ink for the printing press, and run errands. The older apprentices, Thomas and Jacob, ignore you or rudely order you around. Jerks. It makes you angry to be treated this way. Mr. Bradford doesn't seem to notice. You've had enough. One evening, you sneak into Thomas and Jacob's small bedroom. You have a small bottle of ink in your hand. Yeah, I do. If you poured it over their belongings, that would teach them a lesson. Do you decide to pour the ink or not pour the ink?
SPEAKER_01This is terrible.
SPEAKER_00I'm not gonna pour the ink. Alright, we didn't do it. As happy as it would make you to get revenge, you decide against it. You instead speak to Mr. Bradford. That mistreatment stops. Yeah, see? Look at that. As you get to know Bradford better, he talks to you about the rebellion he's sure will come. His ideas are very different from your father's, but you have to admit they make some sense. I'm a member of a group called the Sons of Liberty, he says you do one afternoon. Shit. We're meeting tonight at the City Tavern. Would you like to come? Well, good, he can make his delivery, or I can make my delivery. Yay or nay. Yeah, I want to come. I gotta make a delivery. Let's see what's up, man. Before you leave, Bradford hands you a stack of pamphlets. I want the other Sons of Liberty to send these to the other colonies. Many people aren't happy with the British. I want them to know they're not alone. When you arrive at the City Tavern, Bradford goes inside, taking most of the pamphlets with him. Take the rest to Ben Franklin's house, he tells you, and don't let any loyalists see them. You speed through the dark streets. As you turn a corner, you see three men in the street, you try to cross the street, but they block your way. Oh shit. What's the hurry, boy? One ask. You smell rum on his breast. To stay where you are, press here. To run, press here. Where should I press? Those are not the two options. There's a way around those fools. I'm staying here. You're staying here. Thinking quickly, you stop. Please forgive me, you plead. My mother is sick, and I must find my father. He's in the city tavern. Better get him then, one man said. Loyalists are gonna raid the tavern tonight. All the traitors there will be clapped in irons. You nod and run back to Bradford to tell him what is about to happen. Quickly, the Sons of Liberty leave the tavern. You and Bradford return safely to the shop. I'm sorry I didn't deliver the pamphlets, you say, pulling the crumpled papers from your coat. You showed great courage tonight, Bradford says proudly. You're a true son of liberty now. Wow, look at me. It's August, and the tension is so strong you can almost feel it. Like the 4th of July. Word comes in September there'll be a big media in Philly called Continental Congress. Delegates from 12 of the 13 colonies will attend. Only the Georgia colony isn't sending anyone. One afternoon, two men come into Georgia, man, I tell you. One afternoon, two men come into the London coffee house to speak to Bradford. We are Continental Congress delegates from Pennsylvania. One of the men he says, You were my messenger once. I'm Edward Biddle. Oh, welcome back, Edward. Eddie. You remember the nice man who paid you a shilling to deliver a message. He introduced you to Joseph Galloway. We know of your loyalty to our cause. We'd like you to become the official printer of the Continental Congress. Bradford accepts. Biddle looks at you and says, If your master doesn't mind, we could use your help at the meetings. The delegates will need boys to fetch drinks and run errands. I still need his help in the shop, but I can spare him for the cause of liberty. Do you want to stay in the shop or help with the meeting?
SPEAKER_01Oh, it seems that I should help with the meeting. Because it seems I have a good relationship with my boss, and he wants me to do it. And I've so far been nice. And you're gonna be in the thick of it. And I like the drama.
SPEAKER_00I live for the drama. On September 5th, you arrive at Carpenter's Hall. Strange place for that, but you know, I guess whatever. They you bring water to the delegates as they discuss and argue. As the weeks go by, you get to know some of the delegates. Sammy Adams, the delegate from Massachusetts, talks a great deal. His cousin John is quieter, but a powerful speaker. Jorge Washington from Virginia listens carefully and writes many notes. When the meeting ends, there's a huge party at the City Tavern. More than 500 people there, including you and Bradford. What will Britain think of all of this? You ask Bradford as you leave the party. Will the king even listen? How can he not? Bradford replies, we've gone too far to back down. Now you shiver with excitement and fear. You don't know what the coming months will bring, but you're sure your life in the colonies will never be the same. That's it.
SPEAKER_01That's it.
SPEAKER_00That's it. So now we have to read the end of the book.
SPEAKER_01I mean, I feel like I was a good person. I learned. I was helpful.
SPEAKER_00I feel like I made the right choice. See, I was hoping it'd end on like the actual murder or well, I was hoping it would be like July 4th, 1776, let freedom ring. Like that would be you're in Philadelphia, you're doing the like continental. Like, wouldn't that be the logical conclusion? I'm gonna give this I'm gonna give this a one-star review.
SPEAKER_01I'm just trying to get you to read the book, man. I was just telling Nick, if you're on the hunt for a book, I have a blogger that has a really great library, and she like rates every now, of course, she rates every book, but she explains them all. But if you need a quick like peek at it, you can look at the beautiful covers for those visual people, me, and then she gives it an A, A plus, A minus, B, you know, a grade right below it, and then you can read more about it.
SPEAKER_00It's I read a news story about grading at American colleges. Yeah. And the most common grade right now is guess it. Like some bullshit that's like circle star. No, it's 40% of all college students get an A in every class these days. Interesting. People are lazy. It's every year since the 70s, the number of A's that people go has been going up. Interesting. Do you think like, do you think it's because teachers are lazy? I think it's because students are getting smarter.
SPEAKER_01Do you? I was like, I mean, um, I think I I guessed like Circle Star, because aren't there a lot of places that do like this ridiculous like plus or minus sign, and that's your grade? And did you say pass fail?
SPEAKER_00So Bigfoot High School across the lake from us has stopped doing Val Victorian salutatorian, and they're just doing like summa cum laud, cum laud.
SPEAKER_01I feel like you don't need that in high school.
SPEAKER_00I agree. Like, I think because they said the competition to be Valvictorian is bad for students, and we don't want them to have to compete against each other. And the one point I will agree with is like it creates some weird incentives of like how to protect your GPA.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I'm like, I don't know. This is never anything. I would never felt like I needed to be the valedictorian in high school. I just felt like I should stay on the honor roll.
SPEAKER_00My class had nine people tied for a perfect GPA.
SPEAKER_01We had like a whole bunch of people, and then what's the point?
SPEAKER_00I had uh well, because then like goes down to like how many honor classes you get. I Yeah, that's ridiculous. I was 13th in my class with like a 0.01 off of perfect GPA.
SPEAKER_01I have no idea what I was. I think it was in the 20s.
SPEAKER_00I also like a shit. Figured out very early. I'm like, this is stupid. Yes, I don't care. It's so silly. But in Wisconsin, if you're Val Victorian, you do get free admission to a UW school. You do? So that's nice. Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah. Interesting.
SPEAKER_01I literally never knew that. So why would I continue?
SPEAKER_00I did not want to go to a UW school, so it's like, I don't care. This is all ridiculous. I don't care.
SPEAKER_01Okay.
SPEAKER_00Well, Nick, that was a weird uh choose your own adventure. It was a weird choose your own adventure. It's kind of anticlimatic.
SPEAKER_01Well, you know what? It was a good effort.
SPEAKER_00Maybe if we would have done something else. Do you want to be an indentured service servant in Virginia?
SPEAKER_01Yes, that'll be my choice next time.
SPEAKER_00Yes.
SPEAKER_01Um, I am on a mission to stop at the library for our vacation. Um, Tyler requested a choose your own adventure book that we could like read to Elliot.
SPEAKER_00I think I could share this on Kindle with you. Oh, wow, I should bring my Kindle. It's six dollars. Wow. Six it's about what it's worth, man. Um here, let me tell you the other is it. This beer is so tasty. It is so tasty. Uh they have a bibliography and everything in this. Really? Um, okay, so let's see if they have uh Amazon Colonial Choose Your Own. Whoa, okay. Um here's the other books in the series. I don't know if any of these would uh interest you more. The Aztec Empire. No. Ancient China.
SPEAKER_01Maybe.
SPEAKER_00The Middle Ages. Tyler would like that one. So would Elliot actually. And ancient Egypt. I might buy that one because it's six dollars.
SPEAKER_01I mean, sure. I don't know. I like ancient Egypt. I uh this isn't my cup of tea as I'm looking at books that are either like so. What I was explaining to Tyler is I want to bring three types of books on a vacation because it depends on my mood. And one is like the self-help, and what I mean by that is like, you know, atomic habits or like uh Glenn and Doyle, you know, those type of books. One is murder mystery, and then one is just like smut, just trash, you know, like a total beach read, 50 shades of gray.
SPEAKER_00I did bring that to the cottage the year it came out, and it was fucking terrible. I've told you before, I read that when it was fanfic. Oh, yeah. It was cleaned up. I mean, it was painful to read. When it was fanfic, it was better though, because it was even smuttier. Oh, and even like the the all the spelling and grammatical errors were even worse, which made it better. I feel like I could get published if this person got published. There is self-publishing, so I mean Yeah, you're right, you're right. That wasn't self-published, was it? It was, I mean it was fanfic, so it was self-published on an archive of a but then it got published. Yeah, picked up by a publisher. No, that was a fanfic.net one. What? I have no idea what you just said. Go to fanfic.net. No, I'm not. No, no. What's your favorite movie?
SPEAKER_01My favorite movie of all time? Yes. Now and then, probably.
SPEAKER_00I bet there is now and then. No, there's not. It's actually fanfiction.net. I don't want to go to it. All right, so let's. I don't want to be targeted for shit like that.
SPEAKER_01Uh now and then. I bet there is. Um, while you're look- is there? Is there? Oh, I can't read that. It looks ugly like uh it looks like Reddit.
SPEAKER_00Well, this is for nerds. Here, I'll text it to you. Oh, God.
SPEAKER_01But uh And when I said it looks ugly like Reddit, I just mean it doesn't have any pictures. Okay, Nick, what are you doing for the fourth? I don't know.
SPEAKER_00I know Nefara has so far away. I have a bonfire pit. I'll probably do that. I have oh, I do have a Wagyu brisket set aside that I'm gonna smoke. Wow, probably. Uh-huh and that'll be good. That's great.
SPEAKER_01Do you do you like do fireworks? Is that legal where you live? Is it legal anywhere? I have no idea what the laws are around fireworks. There's no laws in the title. It's a lawless society.
SPEAKER_00I don't know. Do you do that? Or like does Simona get scared? I don't care if she gets scared. Oh, sure. This is Nick who cries about his daughter every week. We uh not with fireworks, she can grow up and deal with it. Suck it up. Was it let no it was Addy that we terrified one year with fireworks at Symtoberfest?
SPEAKER_01Shout out to Addy's mom, Katie. Uh she they had an awesome party. It was Addy's birthday. Um, I have been helping Addy get to her summer enrichment classes this morning, which is literally adds three minutes to my day. Okay, five. And it's so easy, Addy. So great. And Katie, we love you. Katie gave me a gift card as a thank you to TJ Maxx. Great idea. Gift card. How sweet. I want to go buy a swimsuit, is what I want to do.
SPEAKER_00Anyway. Um, okay. Can I read the titles of the fanfic for now and then? Uh, sure. Once in a while. Life changes and revelations. The summer of 1972. At boarding school. Ghost Eyes. What? Scott asked Roberta to meet him alone. If you want to see you need to get into this. I can't. None of that sounds like the movie. Punch me, please. Scott asked Roberta. This is really based on now is good. It's from our younger. I don't know. I mean, literally, none of that sounds like Scott Wormer is confused. Ever wondered what Scott was thinking as he watched Roberta punch that one kid or what Roberta thought as Scott kissed her that night? That and more will be explained as this thick is a collection of scenes. I can't handle what you're talking about right now. Hey, you want smudge.
SPEAKER_01I found you smud. I know, I just need a good, I should have uh crowdsourced this last week, but I'm disorganized this week. I just like want a good shitty. I don't know. I'm way behind. I haven't read a book in I don't know how long.
SPEAKER_00Yes, I know, it's embarrassing. Craziest things ER Nurses Seen. IQ test. What is your IQ? Oh, these are ads.
SPEAKER_01Have you read a not historical interesting book? You and I don't have the same taste. I'm not gonna try this.
SPEAKER_00Um let's see. Uh I'm reading a self-help book a little bit.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Um I feel like I don't I have one that I own that I think I'm gonna read in that genre, so I don't need that from the library.
SPEAKER_00I do read some ridiculous Star Wars sci-fi books. I'm imagining. And that does not interest me.
SPEAKER_01I do read classical literature. Okay, I don't want to know about your books. Never mind.
SPEAKER_00I really recommend the Iliad if you haven't read it recently.
SPEAKER_01I am not gonna read the Iliad on my beach vacation, but thank you.
SPEAKER_00It's about war and revenge. It is so much fun. I thought you would like the revenge part.
SPEAKER_01I know, but I don't like period pieces. I'm gonna call that a period piece. You know, like Bridgerton on Netflix? That is I don't it's everyone has been trying to get me into it. So when I was visiting my sister, she's like, we are sitting down and watching this. And I was like, okay. And I like kept watching it for a while when I got home, and I'm like, I just can't. And I don't want to spoil it for anybody, so I won't tell you what made me stop, but it's painful.
SPEAKER_00Like the acting seems not great.
SPEAKER_01The acting is terrible, and the plot line, I mean, it's incredibly predictable, of course. But I guess I thought it was gonna be a little like Netflix series shows are usually awesome. Squid game. Lovely. I never watched it, but I do want to. Um but okay, I'm just gonna have to tell you a part of this. This guy is lying about um why he doesn't want to have kids, and so they just are having like all the sex and he just keeps pulling out, and it's like always super awkward. Maybe he knew about Roe versus Wade. But this this girl who looks like she's fucking 12 because it's you know the times. I cannot get past how young she looks and how much older he does. And I like can't, I know it was, you know, it's a period piece of the times. I can't like do it, and then it's like all this weird sex, but he can. He's just not supposed to know that. Okay, should have given you a spoiler alert. So everyone else in the world has watched Bridgerton, just not me.
SPEAKER_00So um that's that. Have any good food this week?
SPEAKER_01Well, um, I brought back my chicken swarma salad that I haven't had in forever, which I think I don't remember if Nick influenced me by his meat stick or if I told him about my swarma salad. But really, I want to do a shout out to a local biz, which I knew was gonna be awesome, but I hadn't tried it yet, so I couldn't tell you guys. Um, that Molini Bikini, um friends of the family, let's say, friends of our town, you know, they're in our circle of great people. Um, they uh it's a young woman who was able to get a grant. Uh, she was able to uh pitch her business to the American Legion. So she's got this little shack down by the beach that's run by the American Legion, but they kind of like subcontracted out to various people who pitch a business to them. So she was able to stand up in what's kind of an uncomfortable group of men. Um she had to get sponsored by someone in the Legion. Um, she uh ended up getting a business grant for it, and it's um Hawaiian shaved ice. So it's it's 400 times better than a freaking snow cone because snow cones are just chunks of ice. This is shaved ice, and they have all these fun flavors. It's super shave ice. Like shave ice. Yes, you're right. It's super affordable. Like I got yelled at by a Hawaiian person the other day. Oh boy. It's a great profit mark, like it's a great business. I I sit there and I did the cost. The most expensive thing is the dish, you know? And it it was so good. It was a lovely experience, and I hope she's around for summers to come. So I tried that this week and it was great. Have you had it yet? I have not. It highly recommended. Samoona would love it.
SPEAKER_00To go uh do some stuff downtown. Um I loved my tacos. I thought you might. But let me talk about the cake made for me. So good. I wish you saved me a piece. Oh, there do you want some? We have some. Yes. I'll give you some.
SPEAKER_01It will be my lunch. It looked so good, Sarah.
SPEAKER_00Nice job. An annoying cake of it's three layers of yellow cake, like shitty boxed cake. But you need to like cook it right. Because like, I'm sorry, shitty yellow boxed cake is the best. Yes. And uh raspberry jam, which she my mom usually makes this one, but as a weeknight, and I want Simona to be able to help because Simona loves making cake. Um, Sarah improved over my mom. She put frosting and jam in the middle layer. It looks so good. She did it twice, and then yellow, or I'm sorry, white, shitty, store-wrought frosting, where it's just like so much sugar. And you know me, I just said I love balance in my food. When I don't want balance, you know what I want? Yeah. I just want to go insane. And all of the sugar, all of the sugar.
SPEAKER_01I mean, and that's that's uh bot frosting.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. It's just a bowl of sugar. And uh Simona, then you know, sprinkled, sprinkled all over the top, lots of random sprinkles. Great. Um it looks so good. It's so good.
SPEAKER_01Sarah, great job. I I had to reply to the Instagram story to say how good it looks.
SPEAKER_00Um so I just thank you, Sarah. You're the best. I love you very much. You're the best. Congratulations. You're making that cake for the next, I don't know, like 12 years as long as I'm alive. Me too, Sarah. And uh yeah. So I was I loved it.
SPEAKER_01I love it so much. Great job, Sarah. It looked so tasty. Um yeah. I mean, I think that I've got to bring some brats to our cottage trip so we'll have a lot of good food this weekend. We always make some yummy stuff. Have you ever had a dump cake? Yes, those are fun. Sounds so gross, but it's like the thing I'm most excited about making because again, the kids also like to help and it's stupid easy. Do you do it in the microwave? I do not. Uh, you can do that. I don't think they have a microwave at the cottage. Of course they would. I actually have no idea if they have a microwave. I lived for a lot of years without a microwave, and I actually I I kind of like it. I'm sorry, I am that asshole now that's like, oh, just use the oven. Okay, sorry. I know, I'm sorry. It's 97 degrees outside. Yeah, but like, or the stove to melt butter. I have air conditioning on. Who cares if it's 97 degrees outside? We're a dog. This is the age-old discussion of a toaster oven. I think about it constantly.
SPEAKER_00I'm interested in it.
SPEAKER_01A toaster oven?
SPEAKER_00Like a breath. I know so much.
SPEAKER_01That's a problem. It's my issue. Just get a goddamn air fryer. It cooks everything else. I love my air fryer. It doesn't melt butter. It doesn't, but a pan on the stove does, and that doesn't really heat up your house. That's true. Okay. Also, my kitchen is a hole. It doesn't heat up my house, it just hole heats up that dark hole of my kitchen. One day it'll be an open kitchen. Someday. Someday.
SPEAKER_00Anyway, on that note, it's time for Kid Carter. You go first. I'm going first.
SPEAKER_01That's great. That was good. I'll go first. Mine's not as excited. I imagine you have a good birthday one. Maybe? Okay. Already saying you happy birthday. Um, Elliot has taken to this uh face mask. And when I say face mask, I mean like sleeping mask. Um, we got a travel pillow like before we went on a flight or something. I don't know. It was Mickey Mouse. He like was with me, I'm sure, and I caved and said, yeah, yeah, yeah. So like a neck pillow. And it came with a Mickey Mouse sleeping mask. And so it's like Mickey Mouse eyes, but they're closed. It's incredibly terrifying. He insists on wearing it to bed every night. And I am the creepy mom that takes a picture of him in it because he'll he makes the funniest, like he moves all over in his bed at night. Like, I mean, he ends up upside down across all different directions. And and he will, like, right after he fell asleep, I have a picture on my phone last night. He'll he had his hands crossed like a cherub, and he had his sleeping mask on and these like onesie pajamas that have a hood. So he had the hood up and his mask on. So then before I go to bed, I always go in and like take the hood off and rip the mask off his face. And I think I do it peacefully, and I always, if he stirs, I'm like, it's just mom, I try and like, you know, I'm not coming to kill you. And the next morning, though, he's like, Yeah, mom, I know you ripped it off my head last night. I was like, What? Like, he didn't wake up and say anything, but they're always awake, is what I'm discovering.
SPEAKER_00Um, I have uh, yeah, Simona on my birthday. Yep, yep. Yeah, she uh refused to sing happy birthday because I already sang to you. Well, you sang for Uncle Chi Chi, whose birthday was two days ago. Uh, but my birthday gift from Simona was she gotta watch Vader with me. She is all into Vader these days. We talked about again? Yes, okay, oh yeah, Father's Day. And now what she does is she puts her hands over her throat like she's being strangled, which is terrifying. She's like, I want to be Vader, and because like he has a voice box. So she goes like this and she goes, Oh my god, that's horrifying. Vader. She's very into Vader, and she keeps asking me. So we watch Vader, and Vader just means Star Wars now. So, you know, she actually cuddles with me. Uh, which is incredible. But she then turns to me, Dad, Dad. Could I get mask like Vader? Oh no. And then do your voice box? No thanks. Yes. And so, like, she'll just run around with like again, it looks like she's choking herself. Because I was originally like, Oh, you shouldn't. And I'm like, No, you I know what you're thinking. I understand why you're doing this.
SPEAKER_01So she just goes, She's gonna come haunt you when she's is she's still in the crib? Yeah, when she gets out of her crib, she's gonna walk in your room and haunt you at the foot of your bed. Do you know what?
SPEAKER_00That's just saying if I wake up to that, I'll be like, Oh, I love you so much. That's cool. Great. I don't know, it'd be like if Elliot woke you up with a cup of coffee. You'd be like, okay.
SPEAKER_01No, it wouldn't. If Elliot woke me up with a cup of coffee saying, Mommy, coffee. No, take the coffee away. I'm sorry, that's horrifying. Don't you listen to true crime crime podcasts? Little kids can speak to ghosts, okay? That little kid, that kid is challenging a ghost. What? Yeah, I said it.
unknownOkay.
SPEAKER_00I thought this was true crime, not fantasy crime.
SPEAKER_01I do believe there is a connection with children and ghosts, okay? Get mad at me if you want. I don't care.
SPEAKER_00Have a great day. You know why I don't believe in ghosts? Because they would be haunting serial killers like crazy. Maybe they are. Are you friends with a serial killer? I mean, I'm kind of half convinced you are, but maybe. Who knows? You know all the things about murder. You don't sleep at night.
unknownI know.
SPEAKER_00You're a damn robot. Ridiculous amounts of coffee to keep you going. I do. This Rhino project is taking forever. Maybe it's because you're just hiding the body. See, because I unearthed the ghost.
SPEAKER_01I'm just kidding, everybody. I don't have ghosts.
SPEAKER_00Are you a serial killer or not?
SPEAKER_01Guess we'll never know. No, I'm not a serial killer. You'll have to stay tuned for a Halloween episode to figure it out. That's how I did it by Bridget Leach. Um writing my memoir. The late Chinepo police will just never catch me. You guys, I'm incriminating myself, but I've never done anything illegal in my life. Never.
SPEAKER_00I'm sure it's one of the rights the Supreme Court has ripped away, this term.
unknownOh yeah.
SPEAKER_01Oh my god. Okay. You guys, I hope you have a safe, wonderful 4th of July. Sorry that you're celebrating this country that we're living in right now that sometimes isn't great, but also sometimes is. Don't blow your hands off if you're doing fireworks. Please, please, and thank you. The emergence room is very busy. You'll have to wait a long time.
SPEAKER_00And um, we love you, you're beautiful. Follow us in all the places, touch it later. Bye bye.